Let's face it; getting a degree in college has become a joke. A generation before ours, and I'm speaking as an early 20-something, graduating college meant being better than everyone else your age. Now, all you need is a part-time job at Home Depot and a student loan. Boring.

I'll be the first person to proclaim that I'm so glad tuition got raised. I really am. A university education needs to become so expensive that only the rich and students determined and intelligent enough to get scholarships can possibly attend.

Did you get Cs and Bs in high school? Fuck off, you're going to be doing landscaping for the rest of you life. Are you coasting through college just so you can put, "I graduated from (insert college here)" on your resume? Fuck off, you'll be answering phones until you die.

Students you aren't completely to blame for not only going through four years of high school in a daze, but now, in our current state, going through four to five years in college in a daze. Jobs are also to blame. At some point in time employers had the idea that hiring people who have gone through college was necessary. At that point it was actually true. Now that it has become such a necessity for getting a decent job, the college degree has become the high school diploma. Everyone has one and it isn't worth shit.

Take a look around your classrooms. For the most part you will not find students eager to learn. You're going to find students text messaging their friends about what they aren't going to be wearing tonight. You will find more students interested in the score of the Miami Heat game than global warming. You will find the same students that didn't give a shit in high school, still not giving a shit in college.

I pray and hope that one day these people, these lemmings to the idea that a college diploma is a must, will wake up. Maybe it will be their fourth year in college. Maybe it won't be until they actually graduate and do more with their Friday mornings than drink PowerAde and wish their hangover doesn't last until their favorite trivial show on MTV is on. But, one day these people will wake up and realize that they had access to texts they didn't read, teachers they didn't listen to and resources they ignored because they would much rather "get fucked up."

Before you say it, I will. I sound like an old man, but you people have made me this way. I'm not some straight-edge, wannabe journalist looking to pick a fight with every jock and slut at this university. I'm a young adult who has opened his eyes one day and has seen no promise in 85 percent of what is supposed to be our future. I also enjoy "getting fucked up," maybe as much as the next guy, but there is a time and a place for that, and a time and a place to educate yourself. I suggest you make time for both.

It's a little too "I'm so much smarter than everyone" and not enough "You guys make me sick, you fucking pigs." I'll work on it when I plan on printing it. I mean, there are some classes I don't give a shit about myself. It's just the overall feeling, even in someone's major, that they would rather watch The Simple Life 2 than just listen. Or would rather destruct than debate. Hmph.

Edit 2: I think I found the problem. There are really two ideas here and one of them is good (the value of a college education dropping) and a decent one (no one in college giving a shit). In order for this to work, I think it might be best to seperate them and make them stronger.

Actually I’ve been working on this mix for my iPod Shuffle and I think I just finished it.
At first I tried to not repeat any artists and then I realized I wanted to hear Mates of State and Tegan & Sara way too much, so I made exceptions.

Here’s the gist of it;

“Scenario” by A Tribe Called Quest
“Like Foxes Through Fences” by The American Analog Set
“Neighborhood #2” by The Arcade Fire
“Pattern Against User” by At the Drive-In
”L.A. X” by Big D and the Kids Table
“River of Dreams” by Billy Joel
“Banquet” by Bloc Party
“Earthquakes and Sharks” by Brandtson
“Blood Red Summer” by Coheed and Cambria
“Easy Life” by Controlling the Famous
“Technicolor Girls” by Death Cab For Cutie
“Little Girl” by Death From Above 1979
“The Sporting Life” by the Decemberists
“Positive Contact” by Deltron 3030
“Modern Woman” by Dogs Die in Hot Cars
“Rocket Man” by Elton John
“Your Retro Career Melted” by The Faint
“Yoshimi Battle the Pink Robots, Pt. 1” by The Flaming Lips
“The Wake” by Folly
“9 Milli Bros” by the Ghostface Killah
“Smiley Faces” by Gnarls Barkley
“Drink to Moving On” by Grand National
“The Call Out (You Are the Dishes) by Hit the Lights
“Bridge and Tunnel” by the Honorary Title
“The Black Hole” by Horse the Band
“The Artist” by the Hush Sound
“Stella Was A Driver…” by Interpol
“Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson
“Disco Infiltrator” by LCD Soundsystem
“Horrowshow” by The Libertines
“Think Long” by Mates of State
“Making Friends (Who Make a Mess)” by Men Women and Children
“Absinthe Party at the Fly Honey Warehouse” by Minus the Bear
“Don’t Ever Tell Locke What He Can’t Do” by Moneen
“The World Is Yours” by Nas
“Asleep at the Wheel” by the New Amsterdams
“Grace Kelly With Wings” by Piebald
“The Refused Are Fuckin’ Dead” by Refused
“Shoulder to the Wheel” by Saves the Day
“Comfortably Numb” by the Scissor Sisters
“Ageless Beauty” by Stars
“Love and Death” by the Stills
“Monday Monday Monday” by Tegan and Sara
“Johnny on the Spot” by Texas is the Reason
“Staring at the Sun” by TV on the Radio
“Gravel Pit” by Wu-Tang Clan
“Mean Old Coot” by Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer

Ok, well maybe that is a bit more than a gist.  I’m bored and don’t feel like packing.

I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow (Friday) for a month, so hopefully I plan on turning this into a semi-insightful photo blog.

I'd love to do it everyday with at least just a picture.

So, check it often in July.

I’m only writing this update because I left my memory card for Mario Baseball in New Britain and I don’t feel like starting a new game.  (jk)

So, there’s this radio station Star 99.9 in Connecticut.  It may even seep into Rhode Island.  But, I’ll use their description to tell you all about it.  It’s “soft and contemporary”.  Which pretty much means that it is boring.

This is the kind of music that will play when you work in a cubicle.  It’s completely work safe.  They should really change the slogan to, “Play this radio station at your work place if you want to put your workers into a trance.”  Because that is what is does.  You know why?  Because they play the same songs at the same exact time every single day!

You know what ruined a lot of people’s days about a year ago?
When “Soaking Up the Sun” by Sheryl Crow was introduced to the playlist.
That ruined everyone’s day.
They were totally expecting “Fly” by Sugar Ray right after their lunch break. (Which by the way consisted of the same exact thing they ate the last 5 years: a turkey sandwich on rye bread with exactly 4 slices of meat.  No more, no less.  A dab of mayo.  Not a drop, but a dab.  And sometimes when it’s dress down Friday they will put lettuce and tomato on it, but usually when they are feeling risky they will pack a bag of Baked Lays)
These are the type of people that will literally have heart failure when you throw them a curve ball like “Soaking Up the Sun”.

You know how many women that buy their under garments (that’s what they call them) at Sears, pissed their pants that day?  About 2,000 strong!
Sears was fucking BOOMING that weekend.
But, good thing it was Labor Day.  Because they also only shop when there’s a big sale.  Labor Day, Memorial Day, the Friday after Thanksgiving.  They live for that shit.
Shopping on those days is like jumping out of a plane that’s heading for the atmosphere.  Part of them wishes they didn’t have to do it, but they know they’ll burn up and die if they don’t.  

Today’s a sad day.

You may be thinking,

“Mark, why is it a sad day?”

Well, today I woke up this morning, ate breakfast, went to work, ate lunch, went home, and then sat on my computer.  You know what I found out at 6PM EASTERN TIME!?

It’s Flag Day.

I’ve been going about my day like it was Wednesday June 14th.
What a crying shame.
What a waste.
What a sad day.

Instead of living the American dream and running through the streets with my flag, I’ve been walking around like it was a regular day.  Man, this sucks.

You know how people who are running when they get to a stop light they run in place?
Now if by doing that is truly effective, why aren’t people just running in place at there own home?

At seems to be more convenient, probably less wear and tear on your shoes too.
Well I guess you’d be missing out on the sun, but what about those people that run in the rain or when it’s cloudy?
Why don’t they just save themselves the bad weather and run in place inside?

I’ve come to the conclusion that running in place is silly!

Also, in a “breaking” story on NBC or ABC tonight at 11 they are going to tell people cocktail drinks that have a lot of calories and such in them.

Now I’d like to know the audience for this one.
Because anyone who actually cares about that kind of thing is probably not at home on TV waiting for that information, but instead going about there Thursday-Saturday routine of being at the bar consuming those drinks without…THE FACTS!

These people deserve to know they are putting on alcoholic pounds!

So what should you do ABC or NBC (I forgot)!?

Put it on TV during your 6:00 news! Instead of previewing it at 6.
Because the people that you are doing such a service to by finding out these hard facts aren’t going to be around at 11, but they may be pre-gaming at 6 and that may just catch their attention.

With that being said, local news is awful.  I don’t really watch the news that much, but I’m definitely glad I discovered that CNN is on my television.  And that is something I hope to never say again.

PS: Maybe if everyone just ran in place they wouldn't have to worry about what alcoholic beverages they consume.

I decided my last update could be expanded upon incase some of you haven’t realized how much freaking money I’m trying to save you!  Think of me as Geico, but I won’t trick you with my humor and then not pay your medical bills when you’re dying of some strange African ferret-born disease that’s not in the clause.  Even though, I will not do that either.  At least I’m not making any promises I can’t keep up front.

Look at what three years of college and two (maybe three) courses of college-level! That’s right, college level…MATH! …Has taught me.

1.00 (price per birthday card) x 10 (potential friends/family members) = 10 bucks
80 (80 years of birthdays) x 10 (price of cards per year) = 800 bucks!

It’ll cost you on average, 800 dollars in birthday cards!  Just birthday cards!  Don’t forget wedding anniversaries, Christmas, Yom Kippur, Martin Luther King Day, and the expensive Election Day.  You could multiply 800 dollars by how many holidays you plan to celebrate on a yearly basis and you can see that adds up!

Now, what if you did it my way?  Using the 7 cents to copy various cards at Kinko’s instead of buying them?  Let’s check the math!

.07 x 10 (potential friends/family members) = 70 cents
96 (you live 16 years longer from all the money you’re saving…less stress and you even saved enough to buy a cure to that pesky HIV virus) x .70 = 67 bucks and 20 cents

Total Savings:  $732.80!

And that’s just using birthdays!  It’ll only cost you $67.20 in your entire life if you do things my way.  And with all the money you save imagine how much more you could enjoy the finer things in life.  Fine wine, fine eats, fine romantic company.

AND once you add in all the other holidays I’m sure you’ll be celebrating you’ll save even more!  You could even make extra copies of cards you really like and just keep reusing them!  It’ll be like “your thing”!

I hope I was able to make your life richer, emotionally and financially!

So at Kinkos they sell birthday cards, but they also make copies for 7 cents.

The birthday cards are... probably a dollar.

What if you just made a copy of the birthday card and put it back?

Huh? Huh?

If you have a livejournal account go here:

http://plasticpolaroid.livejournal.com/

And vote for the best egg.

Seriously.

Do you think if you were overweight and became skinny you would become one of those spokes-people for Subway or Bow Flex?

I would like to believe I would.

What would I have to lose?

My dignity maybe?

Would I be trotted around the world like Jerry(?) from Subway?  Doing commercials and radio spots talking about how I used to be a whale of a man?  But, you have to figure in the guy probably gets a decent paycheck for doing almost nothing.  He probably always gets free Subway and probably even some other free stuff.  Like when Nascar does some kind of promotional deal with Subway he'll get a car.  (Probably not)

Of course, after your Bow Flex fame died out you could go on some VH1 show and get into fights with other washed up celebrities.

I think I would do it.